The Joys and Tragedies of Life

On March 15th, my wife, Taylor and I began our longest road trip together. We left Kansas City early that morning and began the trek back to our hometown of Mesa, Arizona in a large moving truck. The days before were very exciting and enjoyable that were spent with my family touring Kansas City, visiting LDS historic sites, eating delicious food, and then celebrating my brother Myke’s wedding. There was so much happiness and love that was felt as I witnessed my brother and new sister in law, Sarah, and her son Miles, join together as a family.
 

Taylor and I volunteered to drive Sarah’s things from Kansas City to Mesa and we were looking forward to our long road trip together. A few hours into the drive we found ourselves in Oklahoma City enjoying some delicious cheeseburgers when we heard just about the worst news anyone can experience in this life. Taylor’s cousin CJ had passed away.

He was an 11 year boy with down syndrome and he died valiantly trying to rescue his dog from a canal.  He was a young man so full life, with the ability to make everyone around him happy.  A few months after our wedding Taylor became one of CJ’s respite workers. Over the past three years we both became very close to this beautiful young man. Whether we were chasing him through the halls at church, or playing “slam dunk” with him at the basketball court, he brought so much joy into our lives. It was almost impossible to be around CJ and not feel happiness.

Within 24 hours we went from experiencing feelings of pure joy to sadness and despair. As we got into the large moving truck to continue the long journey home I felt completely helpless as I watched my wife cry for the loss of her dear cousin. I wanted so bad to do something to comfort her, and myself. We drove in silence for a while, with the occasional updates from Taylor’s parents. I began to wonder, why do these things happen? I believe there is a loving God in heaven who watches out for us, and I found myself asking why would he take away this sweet child?

Eventually Taylor and I began to talk about CJ and the incredible life he lived. We talked about his love of ice-cream, the Phoenix Suns, his animals, and his fighter guys. We couldn't help but laugh as we reminisced about how he owned the dance floor at our wedding, or when he would say things like "you owe me 5 bucks". Despite knowing that I would not see this little stud again in this life, hope began to be infused back into my soul, as we talked about his amazing life. The thought of him in heaven with his dear grandpa, who he was named after, also helped us to find more purpose in this tragic event.



The week following CJ's death we had the amazing experience to be apart of the viewing and funeral that celebrated his life.  His viewing and funeral did not feel like the traditional somber events that those things typically are. Rather, they were joyous testaments to the wonderful life CJ lived. He did so much in those short 11 years, and he is an inspiration to live each day to the fullest, and treasure all the moments that we have. His parents did an incredible job of honoring their sweet son. I couldn't help but walk away from these two events feeling uplifted and motivated, despite the fact that it was a tragedy. I felt closer to my wife, and greater love and appreciation for my family and friends.

Life is short, but it is sweet. Whether we are experiencing the joys of a wedding, or the death of a loved one, I have come to know that all of these things have meaning and purpose. All of these events, I believe, point to an eternal God who has a plan for us. All of these things can bring us closer to the ones we love, and to the God who created us.

A few months ago I recommitted myself to have faith in Jesus Christ, and I am so glad that I did. I believe that through Him, I will be able to see my dear friend CJ again, and the other people I have lost in this life.

Life is such a great phenomenon that allows us to experience immense joy, and also brings about great tragedy, but at the end of the day, not matter how hard life is sometimes or how how blissful it can be, I believe that "all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7). 

***Also, I want to say thank you to all of the countless people who reached out their arms of fellowship and words of sympathy. Even the simple "sorry" and "I am thinking about you and your family" from texts, Facebook posts, and phone calls meant so much to us! I know it's really hard to comfort another person when they have lost someone, but those little things go a long way.