Something I've Known For a Long Time

Lately I have been interested in learning more about the life of Joseph Smith.  I find the early days of the church so fascinating because it was a time when the early saints were trying to find their place in the world, and adjust to their new teachings. It was a time of learning and also a great deal persecutions. Joseph introduced the world to something unlike anything they had in world. It was something that had only existed in Bible stories. This was something new and exciting, but for many it was also threatening. It was a lifestyle change, and it was both glorious and incredibly challenging at the same time. 

I often find myself wondering if I were to have lived in those days, would I have been able to accept all the things Joseph Smith taught? It's interesting for me to see the lifestyle of Joseph and the early saints and how they evolved. The more I learn of Joseph the more I come to see that he was a flawed man just like you and me, which for some can cause them to doubt his prophetic calling. 

Along with my curiosity of understanding Joseph and the early saints, I have also been pondering on my own testimony, especially of Joseph Smith's calling as a Prophet of God. I find myself asking sometimes, was he really a prophet? Did he really see God? Or even things like maybe he did lose his way as he grew older. In the word today the values of the church are being mocked and everywhere we turn there is opposition to it. It's hard sometimes to remember why we live the teachings of the gospel or why we need to listen to a prophet. I feel maybe I have let myself succumb to the world? I see things and I wonder why am I not participating in those things again? The natural man tries to tell me that it's natural; it's part of life to experience all it has to offer in every facet. 

This other day I was reading in the Joseph Smith history, and these thoughts were pressed upon my mind. I was reading about Joseph's vision and as well as the persecutions he received afterwards because of it, and I came across this statement: 

"I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it"  Joseph Smith History 1:25

As I read this I was reminded once again why I believe in this incredible experience and this young prophet, who was both a flawed human being, but also an inspired servant of God. It took me back to the time when I was 14 years old and I received my first answer to a prayer, or when I was 18 years old sitting on my cousins couch, reading the Book of Mormon, and I had the most overwhelming and sensational feeling of gratitude, excitement and love like nothing I had ever experienced. Or when I was at the funeral of my best friend and it should have been a time of darkness, but instead it was a time of peace, because I had the most reassuring feeling that I would see him again one day. Or the time when I was a missionary and changing mine and other peoples lives for the good, or the day I looked across into the eyes of my soon to be bride and told her I wanted to marry her for all eternity. All of these experiences and many more help remind me that I knew, and that God knew, that I have a firm testimony and understanding that Jesus Christ is real, and that he has called a prophet to teach us of him. They were moments of God's love and mercy, and moments when God was telling me He knows me. I realized once again something I already knew, which is something that I cannot deny.