Last month I came up with my personal creed which include 8 values that I am trying to live by. Transparency is the first one.
I define as transparency as being being authentic to ones self, and to the people around us. It's being open, honest and real with others.
Live With Transparency
Be open, vulnerable, and honest. Have real, open, and sincere communication with others, especially those closest to me. Always be my true self.
“The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself” Nelson Mandela
Through out the past month though I have been able to learn and experience a lot when it comes to this topic and I want to share a few of those things. First off I have realized that being authentic and transparent can often be very difficult.
The other night Taylor and I were watching the show Extreme Weight Loss, and this particular episode was about a father daughter duo trying to loose weight together and also repair a broken relationship. When they first start working out, they also took time to let out their raw, caged emotions. It was uncomfortable and sad to watch these two people who were trying to change bring back dark emotions and have such a painful experience both physically and emotionally. I realized that sometimes in order to change and be transparent with the people around us we may have to experience some discomfort in order to reach the happiness and alignment we so long for. It's like the saying, sometime things have to get worse before they get better.
As I've been on my journey of being more transparent and authentic I have had a few of these moments myself. Though not quite as dramatic they still have been uncomfortable but eventually they have led to the results I have wanted. I've really learned though that it important to be authentic and to feel the emotions we have inside of us. I think that it's okay to let them, out even the negative ones (at the appropriate time). The most important part though is making sure that these emotions don't overcome or control us.
As I've been on my journey of being more transparent and authentic I have had a few of these moments myself. Though not quite as dramatic they still have been uncomfortable but eventually they have led to the results I have wanted. I've really learned though that it important to be authentic and to feel the emotions we have inside of us. I think that it's okay to let them, out even the negative ones (at the appropriate time). The most important part though is making sure that these emotions don't overcome or control us.
Another part of being being real and acknowledging our emotions is balancing optimism with it. One of the things I have always been very good at is being optimistic. It's a strength that I thank the Lord everyday that I have. It has helped me navigate through so many of life's difficult challenges. But sometime when someone is very optimistic they don't always see reality, or they don't always understand why another person can't overcome something difficult in their life.
For example, I remember I once had a friend come to me with a problem that was starting to cause deep depression in their life, and my advice to them was you just have to have a positive attitude and look and things different. Now it's not that my advice was bad, its that I never acknowledged that their struggle was real, and it's probably something my friend had heard numerous times. I feel that being transparent and authentic has helped me recognize that there is more to optimism then just telling ourselves to be happy.
For example, I remember I once had a friend come to me with a problem that was starting to cause deep depression in their life, and my advice to them was you just have to have a positive attitude and look and things different. Now it's not that my advice was bad, its that I never acknowledged that their struggle was real, and it's probably something my friend had heard numerous times. I feel that being transparent and authentic has helped me recognize that there is more to optimism then just telling ourselves to be happy.
One of my favorite quotes about optimism and happiness is:
"I am determined to be happy and cheerful in whatever situation I may find myself in" Martha Washington
I use to think that this meant that we need to be happy and cheerful in every single second of lives, and while that's a great goal it's not always realistic. I now think that the key word in this quote is "determined". We won't be happy in every moment, but we can be determined to be. That doesn't mean sweeping our feeling under the rug, that means embracing them and learning how to conquer those negative feelings.
I'm not the best at being authentic, but my wife Taylor is. She is one of the most open and real people that I have ever met. She has had to bear so much in her life and because of that she really gets people and their struggles. She has been an inspiration to me, and has help me learn to express my real emotions.
After a month of trying to be authentic, transparent, and sincere I feel I still have A LOT to work on, but I also feel like I have made some progress. I'm excited to continue my journey on being authentic and I look forward to trying to incorporate it into expressing more gratitude in my life.
I like what you said about letting ourselves feel our emotions, even the negative ones. I also like what you said about balancing optimism. Sometimes I'm good at letting myself feel my emotions but then I have a hard time returning back to hope and optimism.
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