Watching TV Isn't Always a Waste of Time

A few months back I read a blog post that was title "Marriage is for real folks". It was written by Amanda Walker and she talked about how at times a marriage can be really, really hard, but it is always worth it! It was one of the most refreshing and uplifting blogs I have read. It felt so good to hear that someone else's marriage also wasn't perfect, and that it is TOTALLY OK if it's not perfect. 

Like any other couple my wife and I don't always agree about everything. In fact sometimes we have totally different interest all together, and that is OK. Before I got married I use to tell myself that I would never argue with my wife. While, that is a great goal, it's not necessarily realistic. Like most people we have our disagreements.

A few weeks ago we got into a disagreement about something that at the time seemed important, but looking back I don't even remember what it was about it. We resolved it later that night, but I couldn't stop thinking about what we could have done differently to prevent this insignificant argument.

The next day I was watching the latest episode of one of my favorite TV shows, The Office. The show is currently on it's final season and the whole season so far they have been building up tension between the two main characters Jim and Pam. For anyone who has never watched the show, Jim and Pam are a married couple that when the show first started were just two co-workers with a crush on each other. The first few seasons of the show did an awesome job at showing their relationship develop and they eventually got married in the 6th season.

image from here

Its now season 9, and since they have been married the writers haven't really done too much with the characters to really make them interesting. They have pretty much become this unstoppable couple that never have any problems. That was until this season, when we were treated to real argument and fight between this power couple.

For any not familiar with their history you catch up with it here. 

The tension had been building between the two of the them the last few episodes and finally in this episode they both lost it and had their first real fight. As a viewer, who has seen this couple come so far, and always be so strong together, it was almost painful to watch them fight. It was like watching two of my really good friends argue with each other. Their fight was painfully uncomfortable, but it was also extremely realistic.

The whole fight started because Jim has now started a new company and the company is in another city, which takes him away from his family for a few days a week. As a new start up they are trying to raise money and are going through all the stress of starting a new business.

Pam who is working at good old Dunder Mifflin, is actually quite happy with their life, and doesn't really see the need for Jim to go off and work somewhere else. Since Jim has been gone she has been juggling working and taking care of their two kids.

This just a brief snippet of their argument. 

The clashing of opinions all comes out when Jim can't make it to their daughters dance recital because he's away working on his new company. Since Jim can't be there he asks Pam to record it, but Pam misses it because she gets an important phone call. So a few hours later, after a long, stressful day of chasing investors, Jim is looking for a little pick me up, and what a better way than to watch his daughter's recital. When he finds out that Pam didn't record it he snaps and lets Pam know of his frustrations, which then causes Pam to become defensive and talks about how she is trying her best to try and make things work for the family.

Doesn't this sound kind of familiar? Arguing about something so minimal, and turning it into something big?

As I watched their argument unfold I felt like screaming at both of them, and telling them that what they were arguing about was pointless. Pam missed the recital because she got a really important phone, and Jim is disappointed that he lost an investor and had to miss his daughter's recital. If they could both just see what each other were going through then they probably wouldn't have this argument.

That is when I realized something. As a viewer watching from the outside I was able to see both sides to the story and I could empathize with both of them. It then made me wonder, how often have the arguments or disagreements I've been a part of could have been prevented had I taken some time to find out what they other person was going through?

After watching this I realized that maybe I should try and take myself out of the situation, and look at it from an outside perspective. Pretend like I'm a viewer watching a TV show if you will and, ask myself  what is the real problem or issue? Is this worth getting angry and arguing about?

I think so often we as humans, myself included in this, get so caught up with our own busy and stressful days that we expect everyone else should know what we are going through. When we do that we forget that the people around us are also going through their own stressful situations. I've found that if I get too caught up in my own problems, and I don't take the time to understand other people's problems, and then my problems get worse.

When it comes down to it relationships are hard, really hard sometimes, but if we take them away then what do we have? Life becomes pretty meaningless without our relationships. We shouldn't let arguments with the people we are closest to turn into big problems. Relationships are one of human beings greatest source of happiness, and if we take the time to understand the people we are in relationships with we can prevent differences from turning into estrangements.

After watching this episode of The Office, I realized one, that even the best couples we have their ups and downs, and two relationships are worth fighting for! They aren't always going to be perfect, but they are always worth it, especially the relationships with the people that are closest to us! 

Throughout all the up and downs, and all the differences we may have, I have grown to love this girl more and more each day. We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary and I realized that these past two years have been very hard, but they have also been the most rewarding, satisfying, and enjoyable two years of my life.

This relationship is worth fighting for!